The Kinema in the Woods projects its films from behind the screen. A corrugated-iron shed was built onto the north end in the 1920s so the picture could be thrown onto a transparent screen from the back, and it has stayed that way ever since — the last cinema in the country still working by back projection. There are four screens now, and a Compton theatre organ that still gets played. It sits among the pines, which is where it got its name.
That's the thing to understand about Woodhall Spa: it's a village in the woods. Pine, oak, birch and beech ring it to the north and east, growing on light sandy heathland that Lincolnshire mostly doesn't have. The Pinewoods themselves are nineteen acres of mature trees owned by the Woodland Trust, and the streets underneath them were laid out as wide tree-lined avenues by a Victorian architect who clearly had room to work with.
For food and a pint there's a decent spread. The Village Limits, out on Stixwould Road, is a regular winner at the Lincolnshire Food & Drink Awards and known for its Sunday roasts; it pours a changing beer from Horncastle Ales, one of them badged "Outer Limits". The Abbey Lodge Inn on the Tattershall road is a freehouse where the steaks get singled out and the staff bring dogs their own water bowls and treats — it runs a dedicated gluten-free fryer, which is more than most village kitchens manage. The Inn at Woodhall Spa does a brasserie and carvery after a £2 million refit of the old spa hotel.
The Tea House in the Woods on Coronation Road has been doing afternoon teas since 1903, when the Williams sisters leased it from the Petwood Estate for £5 a year and worked the room in long lavender gowns, muslin aprons and picture hats.
The whole village exists by accident. In 1811 a man called John Parkinson sank a shaft over a thousand feet deep looking for coal, hit water instead of coal, and gave up. The water turned out to cure sick cattle. By 1839 it was declared richer in iodine and bromine than any known spa, and Woodhall spent the rest of the century as a health resort. The Spa Baths finally closed in 1983 when the well collapsed — the exact spring the place was built on.
The war is everywhere here. The Petwood Hotel was the officers' mess of 617 "Dambusters" Squadron, and its Squadron Bar is virtually untouched from those days, still full of memorabilia. The men remembered the place as "a splendid place remote from battle". A Dambusters Memorial stands in Royal Square, built as a wall in the shape of a breached dam.
For walking, the Spa Trail runs three flat traffic-free miles along an old railway line, scattered with sculptures, and it's part of the 147-mile Viking Way. Jubilee Park has a heated outdoor pool the village bought for £1.
Robert Webb grew up here. So, briefly, did a golf course that kept getting moved every time someone wanted to build houses.
